My Worship Revolution

So it’s been over  month since we closed, but in case you somehow missed it (not sure how you missed all my abnoxious posts on Facebook), this summer I had the opportunity to perform in Hairspray at Cabrillo Stage.
It’s the first time I’ve made the time to get back onstage in that capacity in about 5 years.
So it may be a bit overdue, but not getting anything up on the blog about it is not OK!  Thus, a quick rundown of some of the highlights of being a part of the cast this year…

1. Sharing with others.  Most people around here know me in a ministry context or something, but I’ve been singing and dancing longer than I’ve known Jesus.  It was fun to share that part of me with some peeps.
   
   
2. Curtain call.  OK, seriously, I don’t think I’ve ever been a part of a musical where people went so nuts at the end.  Such a fun experience to be standing there at the end with people on their feet, whooping and hollering, and a lot of the time, still dancing!
   
   
3. The talent.  Seriously…SUCH a talented cast.  Not gonna lie – I’ve had the chance to perform with a lot of amazing casts with a lot of people way more talented than myself.  So I am a bit of a snob about not wanting to be a part of a sub-par show.  My other cast mates were ALL amazing.  It was such an honor and a blessing to get to perform with them.  I love performing with people better than myself cause it pushes me to grow, learn, and do better, and I definitely learned from others around me doing this show.
   
   
4. The artistic team.  Was so fun to watch Janie Scott direct and choreograph this show.  Such a great director and a blast to work with.  Great stage manager(s), music and vocal director, all around, a great crew of people at Cabrillo Stage.
   
   
5. Just performing.  Haven’t seen the movie Chariots of Fire, but my spiritual director has shared with me this quote from the move a few times – “I believe God made me for a purpose, but he also made me fast. And when I run I feel His pleasure. “  Great summary of what theater is for me.  So great to live that out.  Definitely feeds my soul.
   
   
6. My family.  In a way this was the bummer part.  Putting up a production takes a lot of time and energy that takes away from the family.  But it was again a reminder of what an amazing, sacrificial, and supportive wife I have.  And I must admit, I may have had slightly misty eyes when Caleb came to the morning show and I’m standing on stage at the end of curtain call with Caleb standing in the aisle beaming, clapping, and yelling, “Yay daddy!!”
   
   
7. The relationships.  Or should I say my extended family?  Aside from just being talented, the cast and artistic team for this show was full of amazing people!  Many of them I have continued to be in contact with over the past month and I consider friends.  So blessed to be introduced to so many great new people in our life because of the Cabrillo family.  Definitely, hands down, the best part of being in this show.  Thanks to everyone who made it such a special summer.

And the only thing better than Hairspray?
That’s me.

(If you don’t get that, you don’t know the show.  Just roll with it.)

It was a year ago today that I woke up to the phone call that my mom had passed away.

It’s been a tough weekend.
All in all, I haven’t necessarily thought about it much, but somehow I know the milestone is there and the emotions are just a little more raw.
I don’t feel it most of the day, but I also have trouble sharing the info without crying…and I HATE to cry.

It’s been a tough year.
It’s been a long year.  But at the same time, I look back and it feels like it’s flown by.
At some point I feel like I should have been past dealing with the loss and moved on at 100%.
But lately I’ve been more aware that some of the events of the past year have contributed to seasons of discouragement, even without me being aware of the cause. It’s just in there, and sometimes it effects me whether I like it or not.

And while it’s been the hardest year of my life, we’ve also had tons of blessings, especially so far in 2011.
I refuse to let the tough stuff outweigh how good God’s been, regardless.

All that to say, today has been a big reminder for me.
It’s a big deal to lose the one person who’s known you longer than anyone else in your life.
Today’s a bit of a reminder of that loss.
Everyone talks about the first year being the hardest, making it through all the firsts.
But it never totally goes away even after that.
And milestones like today are a good reminder to slow down and reflect just a touch.

Again…love ya mom.
Miss ya.

This is where I will be between 9pm-ish tonight and 9am-ish tomorrow morning.
One of Rachel’s best friends, Kari, gets married in Salem, OR this Saturday night.
Rachel’s the Matron of Honor.
The kids are ring bearers.
Which makes for a whirlwind weekend of travel for us.

Rachel is there.
Flew up on Monday.
Her mom flew here to help watch the kids while I work and rehearse this week. (Thanks Glenda!)
Glenda and I leave after I get out of rehearsal at 9pm to make the 11 hour drive (err…at least 12 hours with 2 midgets).
Rehearsal dinner Friday night, wedding Saturday night, and then I fly back early Sunday morning to get back for rehearsal 10-6 on Sunday and then Missio Dei Community at my house Sunday evening.
Rachel and her mom drive back and get in Monday.

Red Bull and 5 hour energy, get me through the all nighter on highway 5!
OK, so that to get me back to blogging…now to keep it up…

Just read this as I was hanging out with Jesus this morning:

Joy or sadness, war or peace, love or hate, purity of impurity, charity or greed, all are tremendous realities which are the hinges of our interior life.  Everyday things, relationships with other people, daily work, love of our family – all these may breed saints.

Jesus at Nazareth taught us to live every hour of the day as saints.  Every hour of the day is useful and may lead to divine inspiration, the will of the father, the prayer of contemplation – holiness.  Every hour of the day is holy.  What matters is to live it as Jesus taught us.

And for this one does not have to shut oneself in a monastery or fix strange and inhumane regimes for one’s life.  It is enough to accept the realities of life.  Work is one of these realities; motherhood, the rearing of children, family life with all it’s obligations are others.

-From Letters From The Desert by Carlo Carletto

Most of us are not on the front lines, fighting poverty and living in third world countries.
Of course, this doesn’t absolve us from caring or doing what we can to make a difference.
But God has given you a job.
Or he’s given you a wife, kids, friends, family.
He’s put you somewhere in the world.
And he wants to use what we see as the mundane and redeem those minutes to make us more like Him.
He wants to use our jobs to bring beauty and meaning into the world.
He wants to use our parenting to grow us and to give us the opportunity to be disciplers.

Funny, when my kids are flippin out and I want to strangle them, I rarely think of those times as redeemable by God.  But God is using those little rugrats up there in my life.  That’s one of the calls on my life right now.
How is God using the mundane to make you more holy – more like him – today?

My church planting coach was sharing with me last week that Mother’s Day is one of the most difficult Sundays of the year for him to juggle as a pastor.  At the same time that we rejoice in celebrating moms, there are so many other emotions that come with Mother’s Day.
There are those who wish to be moms.
Those who wish they weren’t moms.
Those who have recently miscarried.
Those who haven’t been able to get pregnant.
Those who grieve abortions.
Those who have given up children for adoption.
And a category I can fit into this year, those who have lost their moms over the past year.

I don’t (so far) see Mother’s Day as particularly tough, personally.  It wasn’t a huge day for us.  We were rarely together, and I’d send a card or something.  Not like Christmas, which was real tough because of how much she loved the holiday.
But it does bring my mom and the past year to the forefront of my mind.
It is another opportunity to remember her.
To honor her, even in death.
And to recognize one of the greatest gifts she gave us on the way out.

I shared in my first post about her passing that I was reading Life of the Beloved by Henri Nouwen on the airplane as I went to San Diego that day.
One of the things he talks about toward the end of the book is the opportunity we have to be “given” by God, of being a gift even in our deaths.
He writes this:

The deaths of those whom we love  and who love us open up the possibility of a new, more radical communion, a new intimacy, a new belonging to each other.  If love is, indeed, stronger than death, then death has the potential to deepen and strengthen the bonds of love.  It was only after Jesus had left his disciples that they were able to grasp what he truly meant to them.  But isn’t that true for all who die in love?

We often say we don’t know what we have until it’s gone.  In some ways it’s true.  This Mother’s Day I can look back on the life of my mom and be so thankful that God blessed me with her, and to continue to grasp what she truly meant to me.

But in addition, perhaps one of the greatest gift my mom left us, as she died in love, was the relationships we now have with each other in our family.  I’ve seen far too many examples of relationships torn apart by the death of a family member.  But  it has been a blessing to see it draw the rest of our family closer together than we ever have been before.  This is especially true in my life with my sister and my aunt, two other amazing moms to be honored today.  Even in the final days of my mom’s life I watched as my aunt and my sister supported each other, loved each other, and I watched the relationship between all three of them grow deeper in the last few months of my mom’s life.

So today I’m gonna kick back at home and spoil my wife for the amazing mother that she is.
And I also write this post as a way of remembering my own mom and expressing my gratitude for who she was and how she continues to bless our lives, even after moving on from this one.

Love and miss ya mom.

That’s Rachel in the picture.
She’s ready to do some serious lifting.

One year ago, we lived on Rigg Street.
6 months ago, we lived on Bay Street.
Right now, we live on Beach Street.
Next week…we’ll live on Faye Drive!
If you help us out this Sunday, we’ll try to give you a break and not move again anytime soon.

Many hands make light work.  And it’s a lot more fun too, as long as you’re fun people.
We’ll be starting at our storage unit at 10am.
Everything’s in boxes, so hopefully it shouldn’t be too tough.
We’ll haul everything to the house and get to unloading.
For those of you who are at a church in the morning, come join us for lunch and then shift 2 is on after lunch.
We’ll get it done so we can all go to the Royal Family Kids Camp Silent Auction that night (hint, hint – don’t you love how I’ve scheduled your day?  I’m like a personal assistant).

Oh…and speaking of lunch, it’s been requested we try not to do pizza again.
Apparently everyone does pizza when they move.
Including us…every time.
We’ll see what we can manage, but no promise.

Important addresses:

Extra Space Storage
1310 Fair Ave.
Santa Cruz, CA

Our house:

3751 Faye Dr.
Soquel, CA

See ya Sunday…I hope.
And thank you guys SO MUCH!!

Oh, and just for fun, how many of you out there have moved a lot?
How many places have you lived in a specific span of time?
Just curious.

It’s amazing at times to look back and see how God can bring about something positive, even beautiful, out of the crummiest of circumstances.
Beauty fron ashes…almost literally.

As most of you know, the end of 2010 was pretty brutal for us here.
My mom passes away in August.
As a result, we inherited some money and property.
(Needless to say, but I’ll say it anyway, would rather have my mom’s presence than all the money in the world.  Hopefully that’s at least sort of assumed for now.)
Then we have the house fire and are forced to rethink our living situation.

All that to say, we just spent an hour signing our lives away.
We are joining the world of home ownership.
Crazy!!
I had pretty much resigned myself to probably never becoming a homeowner.
But with my mom’s down payment and low interest rates, it turns out to be better for us to buy than to rent.

So we’re moving just outside of Santa Cruz proper into Soquel, really close to where we lived when we first moved here.
Found a pretty good deal on a 3br/2.5ba foreclosure.  (Strange to consider someone else’s misfortune as our blessing, but that could be a whole post of it’s own I guess.)
While it is a seriously scary step, also feeling so blessed for the opportunity to have our home as a place for ministry and hospitality.
So feel free to drop in regularly when we get it…starting with moving day, details to follow!

Here’s a couple pics of the place:

Comin down the driveway

Living room                                               “Hole in the wall” – Caleb’s FAVORITE feature!

Kitchen                                                          Soon to be brewhouse/man-cave  

Lot’s of work to be done on it and more possibilities than dollars.
Guess I’d better become a handyman really quick!

I’ll try to make an album in Facebook to share more of the pics.

One of several changes for me and us right now.
I’ll share a few others next week.
If there’s been anything constant in our lives this past year, it’s been change.
Hopefully being rooted in a dwelling place will help add some consistency to the chaos.
God is good and I love this journey!

Earlier today I came across this post in some of my blog catching up.  This particular quote from Tim Keller about doing ministry in a post-Christian culture really grabbed me.

Tim Keller:
“My understanding of how you reach a culture is Christians have to be extremely like the people around them, and yet at the same time extremely unlike them… If Christians are not unlike they won’t challenge the culture, but if they’re not like, they won’t persuade the culture. Now, hitting that middle ground is hard.”

I think that’s where we’re living in a lot of ways, personally and corporately, as we blaze a path clumsily (at times) discover the path for Missio Dei as a community.

Many of our churches over the past number of years have emphasized the importance of being extremely unlike the people around us while forgetting about our many commonalities.
Of course, some others have swung the other way and can become completely like the culture without retaining the marks that set us apart as well.
The former has been more of my experience.

Point is, the quote resonated and got me thinking today.  Figuring out the balance is messy, and it’s the most exciting journey to be on at the some time.

How about you?
Do you agree or disagree with Keller?
Whether you are a church-goer or not, what has your experience been, and what positive or negative affects have you seen as a result?

For those who haven’t been around our current pad, we moved into a temporary place in Dec. after the fire. It’s a 2br apt/vacation rental that is rented out monthly in the off season for students and people who had house fires. It worked out nicely since the rent is just a smidge more than we were paying, but includes all our utilities.

As you can see from the pictures, not a shabby place to suffer for a little bit.
And Caleb LOVES being across the street from the arcade and the Boardwalk. (In winter they have a deal where you get $40 in tokens for $20, so we stocked up for Christmas and he gets to go play on special occasions.)

We’re on the 3rd floor above the pizza joint there.  And we get a discount. (Same owner.)
The pizza is good.
Not a bad deal, especially on $2 Tuesdays when all draft beer and well cocktails are $2.

You may notice I took those pics back in December.  Finally gettin em up here.

It’s a small place for our family and we’ve had to work at teaching the kids volume levels for apartment living, but it’s the perfect short-term place for us.  Now we’re working on where we’ll move to next, and with any luck (and lots of prayer!), we’ll know more on that front in the near future!

What better way to get started blogging in 2011 than recapping some events I never got around to blogging in 2010?
OK, there are probably lots of better ways.  But I’m doing it anyway.
Both to share with you and cause I like to have it to look back on later.

Revolution Church in Long Beach is a huge part of what made me who I am.
Almost 4 years after leaving there those people still feel like some of the closest church family I have.
The past 3 years have been a lot of hell for them and I think of them almost daily.

In 2010 they celebrated 7 years as a church in Long Beach.  To celebrate they decided to bring back all the former worship leaders for a special night of worship and celebration.  After 7 years you wouldn’t think that was a lot, but there were 5 of us on stage: Andy Sulzman, myself, Elijah Young, Jamie Stavenger, and Keith Dickson.

Seriously, one of the most epic nights of leading worship ever for me.
Why?
For one, getting to lead worship with some of the most talented worship leaders I know.  Forget Tomlin, Redman, or United.  Very humbling to get to lead alongside these peeps.
Also, I love that community.  I love getting to be with them, and getting to lead worship for them again was a blast.
And those peeps came to worship.  The energy was crazy in there.
I think it was a healing night in a lot of ways for a lot of the people there.

One of my favorite moments was after How He Loves Us, when Keith starts to pray and says, “God, you truly must love us, cause…well, we’re still here.”
And everyone just kinda laughed.
So many churches would be gone after all they’ve been through.  But they keep on truckin.
I pray God does some serious business in them and then through them this coming year.

I can’t put all the songs on here, but here are some of my favorites from the night.
Thanks for letting me celebrate with you family.
Keep on keepin on.

02-Marvelous Light (Bobby) from Angelo Alberico on Vimeo.

08-Mighty to Save (Jamie) from Angelo Alberico on Vimeo.

15-Indescribable (Bobby) from Angelo Alberico on Vimeo.

16-Victory (Elijah) from Angelo Alberico on Vimeo.