My Worship Revolution

It was a year ago today that I woke up to the phone call that my mom had passed away.

It’s been a tough weekend.
All in all, I haven’t necessarily thought about it much, but somehow I know the milestone is there and the emotions are just a little more raw.
I don’t feel it most of the day, but I also have trouble sharing the info without crying…and I HATE to cry.

It’s been a tough year.
It’s been a long year.  But at the same time, I look back and it feels like it’s flown by.
At some point I feel like I should have been past dealing with the loss and moved on at 100%.
But lately I’ve been more aware that some of the events of the past year have contributed to seasons of discouragement, even without me being aware of the cause. It’s just in there, and sometimes it effects me whether I like it or not.

And while it’s been the hardest year of my life, we’ve also had tons of blessings, especially so far in 2011.
I refuse to let the tough stuff outweigh how good God’s been, regardless.

All that to say, today has been a big reminder for me.
It’s a big deal to lose the one person who’s known you longer than anyone else in your life.
Today’s a bit of a reminder of that loss.
Everyone talks about the first year being the hardest, making it through all the firsts.
But it never totally goes away even after that.
And milestones like today are a good reminder to slow down and reflect just a touch.

Again…love ya mom.
Miss ya.