28 August 2011 ~ 5 Comments

Milestone – Year 1

It was a year ago today that I woke up to the phone call that my mom had passed away.

It’s been a tough weekend.
All in all, I haven’t necessarily thought about it much, but somehow I know the milestone is there and the emotions are just a little more raw.
I don’t feel it most of the day, but I also have trouble sharing the info without crying…and I HATE to cry.

It’s been a tough year.
It’s been a long year.  But at the same time, I look back and it feels like it’s flown by.
At some point I feel like I should have been past dealing with the loss and moved on at 100%.
But lately I’ve been more aware that some of the events of the past year have contributed to seasons of discouragement, even without me being aware of the cause. It’s just in there, and sometimes it effects me whether I like it or not.

And while it’s been the hardest year of my life, we’ve also had tons of blessings, especially so far in 2011.
I refuse to let the tough stuff outweigh how good God’s been, regardless.

All that to say, today has been a big reminder for me.
It’s a big deal to lose the one person who’s known you longer than anyone else in your life.
Today’s a bit of a reminder of that loss.
Everyone talks about the first year being the hardest, making it through all the firsts.
But it never totally goes away even after that.
And milestones like today are a good reminder to slow down and reflect just a touch.

Again…love ya mom.
Miss ya.

5 Responses to “Milestone – Year 1”

  1. Aunt Linda 30 August 2011 at 5:37 pm Permalink

    Love the pic, you and your Mom look beautiful!!!

  2. John Foster 29 August 2011 at 7:17 pm Permalink

    Hey Bobby,

    I am going to copy your blog and call it my own, (just kidding) but I resonate with everything you said. Every day this last year I thought of my dad and his support. He lived with us 13 years. This last year for Deb and I has been a whirlwind. It also proved to be one of our hardest ministry years as we led a congregation to put into action what they said they believed. Every emotion. Every feeling of “feet of clay.” Wondering how the institutional church has become as sick as it is. And then in the midst of all of this, God gives Deb and me a call. A release to a new opportunity in a new area. This is good and scary. To be a mover and shaker is never fun when the bullets are flying. But it is rewarding to know that when you are advancing the kingdom forward you are making a difference. So deep peace my friend!

    Fro one who knows and understands the journey

    John

  3. Kelly Welty 29 August 2011 at 11:15 am Permalink

    This year marked my 30 year high school reunion (which I did not attend) but several people tracked me down on FB and asked how my brother was doing. How do I tell them he died 28 years ago, and that I still miss him every day? I feel bad that they have to deal with his loss for the first time, and I still can’t believe how emotional I get when I remember that day. He was my best friend. We did everything together! I was changed by knowing him and changed by losing him. Some good things have been worked by God as a result of that experience. The best is the absolute assurance that we will be together again. I KNOW that, as much as I believe it. Be comforted by this, my friend. Blessed are those who mourn, for they SHALL be comforted!

  4. Jamie 29 August 2011 at 10:01 am Permalink

    Hey Bobster- been thinking about you and your fam a lot lately! Still praying for you guys on the 8ths :) Just thought you should know that I think the whole “first year is the hardest” is a myth. It sucks…but I think the permanence starts to sink in after that. Simultaneously, less people talk about it and memories start fading. I know it probably isn’t what you want to hear, but in my opinion, the second year has been worse…and it’s totally normal, I’m assured. Lately I’ve been craving home videos, just for a refresher on what his voice sounded like.

    “…seasons of discouragement, even without me being aware of the cause…” I can SO RELATE to that. Keep on keepin’ on, and talk about her lots. It will help more than you think- and those tears are good tears :) Love you guys!

  5. Debbie 28 August 2011 at 9:47 pm Permalink

    Bobby, very touching! Especially “It’s a big deal to lose the one person who’s known you longer than anyone else in your life.” Its so true and yet not many people realize it. Being a parent yourself makes you realize it more. It’s very sweet for you to share your thoughts about missing your mom. The past year you & your family have been through a lot, but the LORD has been with you every step of the way & He will continue to be. As you are missing your mom I pray God will bring you peace and comfort. Love, Debbie


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