28 August 2010 ~ 19 Comments

We Miss You Already Mom

Today we lost my mom to a 9 month or so battle with cancer.
4 months shy of her 60th birthday.
There’s no easy way to lead into that, so there it is.
Walking through that (along with stupid distractions like Facebook games and Catan online) has contributed in part to my spotty – at best – blogging lately.

She took a serious turn for the worse over the past several days.  I was supposed to fly out Tuesday, but changed my flight to today being unsure she would make it til Tuesday.  This morning my sister called me at 4:30 a.m. to let me know that she was gone.

Many of you have been at least somewhat aware of what was going on and have been praying for and supporting my family continually.  Thank you so much.  And for those who didn’t know, no worries, we still need much prayer as we process it all and deal with all the details that come with the death of a parent, sibling, grandparent.  Perhaps I’ll share more from the journey over the past year now on the blog. Perhaps I won’t.  We’ll just see.

So many thought and feelings are running through my heart and mind right now that I can hardly begin to process them all.
We’ve known for a while now that this day was coming.  I lost my father at 16 and thought I’d have some idea what to expect and how to prepare.  But this has proved to be, by far, the most difficult event – or really…process – I’ve ever experienced.

My mother will be deeply missed.
She already is.

I’m sitting right now in the Salt Lake City airport waiting for my flight to San Diego.
As I was sitting on the plane, I asked myself what the date was, knowing that it will more than likely be forever burned into my memory.
It took mere seconds for Romans 8:28 to wash over my dome as I recited the number to myself silently.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

There is little that seems good about a time like now.  But what a great reminder that while it may not feel good, and while I definitely don’t understand the master plan, God has one.  My prayer is that one of the good things that can come is that God would be glorified as we, her family, embrace our own brokenness and rest in a peace that has to be beyond ourselves.  I am reminded of a popular quote from John Piper that has deeply impacted me for years, “God is most glorified in me when I am most satisfied in him…especially in the midst of pain and suffering.” (Perhaps a loose quote.)

As I was on the first leg of flying, I was reading through a great little book by Henri Nouwen, The Life Of The Beloved.
In considering God using this painful time in my own life and in the lives of others, this paragraph from his chapter on brokenness seems insightful…

“The deep truth is that our human suffering need not be an obstacle to the joy and peace we so desire, but can become, instead, the means to it.  The great secret of the spiritual life, the life of the Beloved Sons and Daughters of God, is that everything we live, be it gladness or sadness, joy or pain, health or illness, can all be a part of the journey toward the full realization of our humanity.  It is not hard to say to one another: ‘All that is good and beautiful leads us to the glory of the children of God.’  But it is very hard to say: ‘But didn’t you know that we all have to suffer and thus enter into our glory?’  Nonetheless, real care means the willingness to help each other in making our brokenness into the gateway to joy.”

The reality is that right now, it mostly just hurts.  But through your prayers, support, and friendships, one day it can be redemptive in pointing to God and  bringing strength and joy to all of us who loved and miss her.
In the meantime, we’ll cope by taking this week to remember her life and to celebrate the gift that God gave us, in the midst of our grief.
I love you mom.
You’re missed already.

19 Responses to “We Miss You Already Mom”

  1. Chris 6 September 2010 at 10:00 am Permalink

    So, so sorry to hear this Bobby. That is not easy. Praying for God’s peace to be evident in your life in many unexpected ways.

  2. Paul Taylor 30 August 2010 at 10:08 pm Permalink


    We just read the news. We are praying for the Holy Spirit to bring peace to your heart amidst such a great loss. The Lord is with you even at these times of struggle and hurt.

    We love you guys,
    The Taylor Family

  3. Merrilee Willoughby 30 August 2010 at 1:12 pm Permalink

    Bobby – we heard the news from Andrea and we just wanted you to know how sorry we are. You and your family are all in our prayers.

  4. Dan Kimball 30 August 2010 at 2:33 am Permalink

    Prayed for you and your family as I read the news. I understand what you are going through.

  5. Tarah Brown 29 August 2010 at 9:29 pm Permalink

    We will be thinking and praying for you guys. I am so sorry you all have to go through this and pray God surrounds you with love and grace.

  6. Christal 29 August 2010 at 8:36 pm Permalink

    Loved knowing your mom for the short time it was. Hurting with you and Rachel, since you are like family. Love you guys, glad my parents can help out a little.

  7. Andria Elam 29 August 2010 at 12:38 pm Permalink

    Hi Bobby ~ I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I pray that God will bring you and your family much-needed comfort during this time. Please know that you are not alone in this…I lost my Mom several years ago to cancer as well. It took her in only 5 1/2 months from the time of diagnosis. I’m sure you remember how close we were. I can’t tell you how amazing the Lord was during the whole ordeal, though. The feeling of warmth and peace that He wrapped me with was amazing, and I sincerely pray that He will do the same for you. I actually thought of you and Megan when I lost my Mom, because I remember how strong you both were when your dad passed away and I wondered how you did it. I know God had His hand on you then, just as He does now. Blessings ~

  8. Bet Olson 29 August 2010 at 8:52 am Permalink

    We are so sorry for your loss. We are praying.

    Erik and Bet

  9. David Trotter 29 August 2010 at 7:14 am Permalink

    Praying for you and your family this morning. My heart is saddened by your loss. May you sense God’s remarkable presence now and in the days to come.

  10. Marc Armstrong 29 August 2010 at 2:08 am Permalink

    Bobby…I too understand the pain of losing a mother. I lost mine on November 9, 2009. She will always remain in your heart and in your memories. I never met her but I can say this about her…she raised an incredible son..who has touched the lives of so many! Bless you Bobby…see you soon..

  11. Erin Johnson 28 August 2010 at 9:04 pm Permalink

    Bobby, I’m so sorry. I just saw your post on Facebook. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Rachel and the boys. I just came across the same Piper quote today in my studies. It will be my continual prayer for you and your family, that you will all find rest and satisfaction in Him as He walks with you through this.

  12. Derrick Logan 28 August 2010 at 2:04 pm Permalink

    Bobby –

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I’m lifting you and your family up in prayer today, that God would grant you His peace and that he would take this tragedy and use it for His glory.

    – Derrick

  13. Kendra Kertson 28 August 2010 at 1:28 pm Permalink

    So sorry Bobby! You guys are in our thoughts and prayers this week. I just quoted Rom. 8:28 to Rachel at the park on Thursday when she was filling me in on all that was going on with your mom. Just got chills reading your blog. God does work all things together for Good! I have no doubt that God has Amazing plans for you in your near future.

  14. Tristen Holden 28 August 2010 at 1:27 pm Permalink

    Hey Bobby,

    Thanks for sharing your heart. We’ll be praying for you as you walk through this.



  15. David Ballard 28 August 2010 at 1:25 pm Permalink

    Hey Bobby,

    I’m sorry for your loss. You and your family are in our prayers.
    Praying that God will show himself strong in your life…

    For the eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth to show Himself strong in behalf of those whose hearts are blameless toward Him, whose hearts are completely His. 2 Chronicles 16:9

  16. Julie Tyler 28 August 2010 at 12:56 pm Permalink

    Ed and I are so sad to hear this news. I really liked your mom even in the short time I was able to visit with her. We are praying for you and the rest of the family even now. We love you and hope you feel the support of so many friends and family that are around you.

  17. Angelo Alberico 28 August 2010 at 12:45 pm Permalink

    Bobby, I am so sorry. I will pray for you and your family.

  18. Mark Jaffrey 28 August 2010 at 12:44 pm Permalink

    Hi Bobby. I am so, so sorry. While it can’t compare to what you are going through, I am grieving too; a friend and mentor of mine died three days ago. So I’m holding you up in prayer too, and getting just a small glimpse of what you might be experiencing. I pray that God will give you exactly what you need each day to walk through this, one day at a time. Grace and peace to you my friend.

  19. Rich Kirkpatrick 28 August 2010 at 12:23 pm Permalink

    Bobby… I am so sorry for your loss and know that you are truly a man of God who will by example and words lead others as you learn your way through this. I believe in you that much and more and thank you for being a friend. Your mom’s legacy lives through you and your family and ministry.

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