09 February 2010 ~ 0 Comments

Being Rather Than Doing

Typically I end my day from Recreate with a recap of the day and the speakers with some pictures and videos to bring you along for the ride.
Screw that.
Don’t worry.
I’ll catch you up at some point.
But tonight, instead of the details of the facts, let me quickly update you on another storyline of the conference.
A more intangible storyline.
A more hidden reality.

Often times, when I have those weekends, weeks, whatever, of getting away with God, a theme starts to arise.
It’s what God is doing in the midst of it all to transform and mold my heart.
Regardless of all the great concerts and provocative speakers, that is the part that really matters.

You may have picked up on that theme in my last post.
The title alone starts to hint at it.
It’s the line that grabbed me by the throat in that prayer this morning.

Tonight we had a concert with artists from Word record label.
Meredith Andrews, Patrick Ryan Clark, and Matt Boswell played several song in turn that they wrote.
Then Pocket Full of Rocks rocked the house for a while.
I enjoyed the music, but wasn’t truly engaged.
It’s at times that we least expect it that God breaks in and disrupts our state of mundane complacency.
Pocket Full invited the other three singers up to end in a final worship song and pray over us.
They had us close our eyes, pray, and then started singing.
The chorus of the song they sang…

How marvelous! How wonderful!
And my song shall ever be:
How marvelous! How wonderful!
Is my Savior’s love for me!

Next thing I know I was on my feet, eyes closed, tears streaming down my face.
As I pondered what God was doing, it occured to me one of the things God is getting to me about.
How wonderful my Savior’s love for me…
I believe that.  I really, really do.
But I think deep down, I still feel at times like I have to earn it.
I know I don’t.
But in action, I don’t know how to just be.
Will God really approve of me if our church planting efforts fall flat?
Will he really love me if I don’t please him by caring for the least of these?
There’s something to be said for these things.  Yes, they matter to God.
But he loves me, he delights in me, because I’m his.

I think this is why for the past year the idea and concept of contemplative spirituality and the mystic side of our Christian faith has been drawing me in.
I need it.
I need to learn how to be.
Then I can go and do out of my being.
It’s not always easy, but it’s a great journey to be on.

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