15 January 2009 ~ 14 Comments

Parents – Help Me Out Here


With Ed still recovering from being sick, I’m up to bat with the message this Sunday.  We’re in a series called “The Elephant In The Room.”  We’re focusing on family and parenting issues, especially some of those that aren’t talked about much.

This week is The Elephant In The Nursery.  Fairly appropriate with a 2 yr. old and one on the way in less than a month (hopefully!).  I have lots of good thoughts and just pulling them all together right now.  I started asking myself this question, and thought it would be REALLY helpful to hear how you would answer this question:

What is the one thing that you wish someone would have told you that you never heard before having a child?

Feel free to answer anonymously if that helps.
I’d love to hear what comes to mind for you.  Especially as it relates to those baby/toddler years.

14 Responses to “Parents – Help Me Out Here”

  1. Anonymous 22 January 2009 at 4:21 pm Permalink

    The terrible 2’s start at 18 mos. and go till about Kindergarten. I have learned that it is my job to be a mediator between my children and Christ when they are young. To bring lead them to the foot of the cross when they sin. To love them in spite of it. To remind them and myself that I am not perfect. I am going to mess up, and that is what Jesus is for. He fills in everywhere I fall short, and that is a big space to fill! To discipline in love not anger.

  2. Aunt Linda 18 January 2009 at 12:06 pm Permalink

    Yes, Bobby, it was an interesting topic. You pulled us all in. I enjoyed this post and hearing what everyone had to say. Hope your sermon went well! Would love to know what you talked about.

  3. bobby 17 January 2009 at 3:34 pm Permalink

    You all rock. Great stuff. Thanks for sharing. Anyone else?
    Even if it’s past Sunday, it’s a pretty interesting topic, eh?

  4. angelina 16 January 2009 at 9:30 am Permalink

    Well, I’m not a parent, but I work with a lot of parents! This might not be the angle you’re wanting to take, so do with it what you will, but, I know that this simple truth is something that has been super freeing for me as a christian education practitioner and as a future parent. (is that enough build-up for you?!) So here it is… as a parent, it’s not your job to create spiritual growth in your child. It’s your job to create space and environments where that can happen, and to be the primary nurturer of your child’s faith, but, ultimately it is the job of the Holy Spirit to create that growth. Also, there are a lot of really bad, messy things in the world and it’s about teaching your kids to fall in love with Jesus first, and all those things of the world will fade in light of Christ.

  5. Keith 16 January 2009 at 8:35 am Permalink

    I wish someone had told me that every once in a while I wasn’t going to like my kid very much. And that’s okay.

  6. Traci 15 January 2009 at 10:21 pm Permalink

    I wish someone would have told us how hard it can be for your relationship. Travis and I were lucky we had been married for a while so it wasn’t to tough for us. The hardest part is making sure you are both on the same page and ready to back each other up when the kids tag team against you. You both usually have the same goal at heart, but when you both have been raised differently you bring different ideas to the table which one or the other might not agree with. It is hard sometimes to come to a joint decision but as long as the kids don’t see you sweat, you are usually okay. I would also say that it is really hard to find time for each other. I think Travis and I have maybe gone out just the two of us, maybe two or three times in one year. We have never hired a sitter and I don’t think we will for a while. We are lucky because we are okay with just being home and hanging out with the kids. We would rather order pizza and curl up on the couch with a movie and the kids, then go out. I have to say when we do get to break away I tend to feel a little guilty for leaving the kids. But it is nice to just spend that much needed quality time together. After you have two kids your time alone gets few and further between.

  7. Phil 15 January 2009 at 8:43 pm Permalink

    As a new father of a 2-month-old… I wish someone had explained to me the enormity of the frustration I would feel when he just Would. Not. Stop. Crying. Or would not go to sleep. Or needed to eat every 2 hours but took an hour to fall asleep so my wife never ever ever got to go to bed.
    For us, the first 5 weeks were hell. Almost made us question whether we made the right decision having a baby. Now – there’s no question, it’s awesome and he’s great. =)

  8. Glenda 15 January 2009 at 8:03 pm Permalink

    It would have been great to know that the hardest years of disciplining a child is the first 5 years. They are so darling and cute those first 5 years, but as you know they test you to see who’s boss, how much you love them, how much they can get away with! Some of the best and hardest years. By the way thanks for giving me the greatest grandson ever! What a blessing!
    Wish I could hear your message on Sunday!

  9. kimmie herbert 15 January 2009 at 8:02 pm Permalink

    How difficult it is. Just recently I have seen my sins, some of my deepest inadequacies displayed, no magnified in Caleb’s behavior. It is so discouraging, he is only 2 years old, how much more damage am I going to do in the years to come?!

  10. Jeni 15 January 2009 at 6:32 pm Permalink

    Ah Bobby you still care! ha ha! Hope you and the wife are doing well!

  11. Aunt Linda 15 January 2009 at 6:26 pm Permalink

    Thank you, Michele. It is refreshing to see someone appreciate what others take for granted. Like you, I never spent a dime on a babysitter, and no matter what, my parents always had time to help me with my son and stepson. There were plenty of times they told me things I didn’t want to hear, but later in life, I learned to say thanks, I’ll think about that. We’re all going to be grandparents someday, God willing, so I say treat the grandparents the way you want to be treated because life is one big circle.

  12. Michele Weyman 15 January 2009 at 6:04 pm Permalink

    Go Aunt Linda! I never realized that until she just mentioned it! My mom and mother in law are awesome- I think I may have only paid a babysitter a handful of times! They help out soooo much. The only thing I can say about kids is that I never realized how much better my life is WITH them in my life! I cannot imagine life without them. I have such an unconditional love for my boys…. I don’t think that is what you were asking for though Bobby- I think you wanted something more along the lines of diapers or sleepless nights! Even though those things were tough, they come with the job and I wouldn’t change it for the world!

  13. Aunt Linda 15 January 2009 at 5:32 pm Permalink

    How hard it would be to raise a child without the help of the grandparents! They are always the ones I call when one of my kids is sick, or when I need someone to babysit. They’re the ones that are always there for me when I need advice, and, yes, sometimes when I don’t. But I am thankful for my parents and in-laws because without their help I never would have made it. It has made me realize how important family really is. So, I guess in answer to your question it appears one concept would be the vital roles grandparents play in our children’s lives, as well as the problems it causes in creating family boundaries.

  14. Anonymous 15 January 2009 at 5:05 pm Permalink

    Grandparents think that they have the right to have a say in how you raise you children!

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